"I don't know how to pray." It's one of the most honest things a person can say, and even Jesus' closest friends said it. In Luke 11, the disciples asked, "Lord, teach us to pray." If they needed help, it's no surprise that we do too.
The good news is that prayer is not a performance. God isn't grading your vocabulary or the length of your prayers. Prayer is simply a conversation with God who already knows you and loves you. This guide offers several simple, time-tested practices to help you start, or start again.
What Is Prayer?
Prayer is talking with God and listening for God. It can be spoken out loud or silently, written in a journal or sung in a hymn. It can happen in a church sanctuary, in the car on the way to work, or at the kitchen table. Prayer includes praise, thanksgiving, confession, and asking for help for ourselves and others. It also includes simply being quiet in God's presence.
John Wesley considered prayer one of the essential "means of grace," the practices through which God's love shapes our lives. You can read more about that idea in our article on John Wesley's three simple rules.
1. Start With the Lord's Prayer
When the disciples asked Jesus how to pray, he gave them a model prayer (Matthew 6:9-13; Luke 11:2-4). Christians have prayed it for two thousand years, and we pray it together in worship every Sunday.
Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, forever. Amen.The Lord's Prayer (ecumenical traditional text)
Try praying it slowly, one line at a time, pausing after each phrase to add your own words. After "Give us this day our daily bread," for example, you might name the specific needs you have today.
2. Use the ACTS Pattern
ACTS is a simple outline that helps keep prayer balanced:
- A – Adoration: Praise God for who God is: loving, faithful, creative, merciful.
- C – Confession: Honestly name where you've fallen short, and receive God's forgiveness.
- T – Thanksgiving: Thank God for specific blessings, big and small.
- S – Supplication: Ask God for help, for yourself and for others.
Many people find that starting with praise and thanksgiving changes the way they ask for help. Our worries don't disappear, but they find their place in a bigger picture of God's goodness.
3. Try a Breath Prayer
A breath prayer is a short phrase prayed in rhythm with your breathing. Breathe in on the first part and out on the second. For example:
- (Inhale) "Lord Jesus Christ," (exhale) "have mercy on me."
- (Inhale) "Be still," (exhale) "and know that I am God." (Psalm 46:10)
- (Inhale) "The Lord is my shepherd," (exhale) "I shall not want." (Psalm 23:1)
Breath prayers are perfect for stressful moments: in a waiting room, before a difficult conversation, or when you can't sleep.
4. Pray the Psalms
The book of Psalms is the Bible's prayer book. It gives words to every feeling: joy, gratitude, anger, fear, grief and hope. When you don't know what to say, borrow the psalmist's words. Psalm 23 offers comfort, Psalm 51 helps with confession, Psalm 100 is a song of joy, and Psalm 13 gives voice to the question "How long, Lord?" Praying the Psalms teaches us that we can bring our whole, honest selves to God. For help getting started with Scripture, see how to start reading the Bible.
5. End the Day With the Examen
The examen is a simple reflection practice, developed by Ignatius of Loyola in the 1500s and used by Christians of many traditions. At the end of the day, take five to ten minutes to:
- Become aware of God's presence.
- Review the day with gratitude. What were the gifts?
- Notice your feelings. When did you feel close to God, and when far away?
- Choose one moment to pray about, whether for thanks, forgiveness or help.
- Look toward tomorrow and ask for God's guidance.
6. Keep a Prayer List or Journal
Writing down your prayers helps you stay focused and lets you look back and see how God has been at work. Keep a list of people you've promised to pray for, and note answers to prayer when they come. Some people use a notebook; others use a note on their phone. At Laingsburg UMC, prayer requests shared during Sunday worship and in our prayer group become part of the whole congregation's prayer.
7. Pray a Prayer From Our Tradition
Methodists have a rich heritage of written prayers. One of the best known is John Wesley's Covenant Prayer, often prayed at the start of a new year. It begins, "I am no longer my own, but thine. Put me to what thou wilt, rank me with whom thou wilt..." Written prayers can give us words when our own run dry and connect us with Christians across the centuries.
Common Questions About Prayer
Do I have to close my eyes or kneel?
No. Posture can help some people focus, but you can pray sitting, standing, walking or lying down, with eyes open or closed.
What if my mind wanders?
It will. When you notice your mind drifting, gently return your attention to God. Sometimes the distraction itself can become a prayer: if you keep thinking about a friend, pray for them.
What if it feels like God isn't answering?
Every person of faith experiences seasons when God feels silent. Keep praying honestly, including about that silence. Talk with a trusted friend or the pastor. Prayer is a relationship, and relationships include quiet seasons too.
Pray With Others
Private prayer is important, but praying with others is powerful too. Each Sunday at about 9:40 am, a prayer group gathers in the church library at Laingsburg UMC before worship. Everyone is welcome to share joys and concerns in this no-pressure group. Learn more on our Adult Ministries page. You can also share a prayer request with us anytime through our contact page, or stop by Tuesdays at Twilliger's to pray with the pastor over coffee.
Conclusion
There is no single right way to pray. Start with the Lord's Prayer, try the ACTS pattern, breathe a short prayer in a hard moment, or end your day with the examen. What matters most is showing up, honestly and regularly, to the God who loves you. If you would like to grow in prayer alongside others, we would love to welcome you at Laingsburg United Methodist Church. Join us for worship any Sunday at 10:30 am.